Why Does The St. John’s River Flow North?

There is a joke in Florida (at least North Florida) that goes like this:

“Why does the St. John’s River flow to the north?”

“Why?”

“Because Georgia sucks.”

Insert laughter.

Now, I’m not a Floridian , nor do I have anything against Georgia. I am thinking that the joke probably originated as a taunt from Gator football fans. To which I say “Do they play football in Florida?”. I have been here 10 years and still claim no allegiance to any Florida sports team, except for maybe the Daytona Cubs.

As I said, I hold no ill will against Georgia. I spent a weekend in downtown Savannah and it ranks high in my list of top weekends ever. I have taken more than a few day trips to St. Simon’s Island and developed quite a fondness for Brogan’s near the lighthouse. I have an actual list of places I want to go visit in Georgia, such as Cumberland Island and Springer Mountain. I love the “living sociological experiment” that is a Huddle House restaurant, where a white person can experience the feeling of looking around and seeing nothing but different colored faces.

At this point though, I am pissed at Georgia. Georgia is taking away my friends. Sucking them away, if you will. Three friends (4 if you count Leilani) have gone. Left without fanfare or celebration, some without warning. I have spent the last 10 years on what I call an extended vacation. I say that because I have worked at golf resorts, for a golf wholesale company, and as a bartender. Having been in the “Hospitality Biz”, which is notorious for seasonal employees and staff turnover, I should be used to here today gone tomorrow friendships. This time is different though.

So..today I am pissed at Georgia. I am only about 100 miles from the Florida-Georgia border so this bird is for you Georgia.

Come to think of it, I’m a little upset with New Orleans right now too.

Y’all know who you are….here’s some drinks that will always be yours in my recipe book….

Hot Georgia Peach

1/2 oz Hot Damn cinnamon schnapps

1/2 oz peach schnapps

Chill and pour into a shot glass. Serve.

Suntanned Surfer Girl

2 oz Malibu coconut rum

fill with pineapple juice

splash of Coca-Cola

Pour into an ice-filled old fashioned glass. Stir and serve.

Georgia Tea
1 oz vodka

1 oz gin

1 oz light rum

1 oz peach schnapps

pineapple juice

orange juice

Build over ice in a highball or hurricane glass. Pour liquors, then fill with equal parts OJ and pineapple juice. Shake and serve.

Flower Of Heaven
1 1/2 oz Bacardi light rum

1 oz creme de banane

1/2 oz Cointreau orange liqueur

1/4 oz lime juice

Dash grenadine

Blend with a small amount of ice. Serve in an oversized cocktail glass or coupette.

And for the friends I lost to Louisiana…

Cajun Comforter
1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort

1/2 oz Old Grandad bourbon whiskey

Dash Tabasco sauce

Pour Southern Comfort and bourbon over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Add a dash of Tabasco (or your choice of hot sauce). If you’re feeling friskaaay, garnish with a jumbo shrimp!

Red Raider
1 oz bourbon whiskey

1/2 oz triple sec

1 oz sour mix

dash of grenadine

Shake ingredients with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass and serve.

Just to let every one of you know that I am thinking of you. Mix ’em up and we can toast from afar.

There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.

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